Summer Slimming

Do you want to be FAT for the summer – its not too difficult if you follow the guidelines we suggest.

If you start NOW you could be several stones heavier for the nice weather. Just think – you’d need ALL NEW clothes (3 sizes larger), you wouldn’t have to walk anywhere  (you wouldn’t have the energy).

You’d save a lot of money (The Holiday Money – you’d be so uncomfortable, you wouldn’t want to go!) Does it appeal? Right – this is how you do it!


Go straight from class and buy some chocolate! Lots of it – eat it on your own – so you don’t have to share! Check at home – the kids may have some! Slip several extra bars in your shopping.


Do increase the baking in your house – do lots and lots! This is very near the perfect situation to gain weight. Every appetite stimulating factor now works to your advantage.

You have the sight and the SMELL of food – you are alone – the more often you bake the fatter you will get. Try to bake at least three times per week. Don’t worry about the family eating a lot of it.

Eat yours before they come home! What ever you do, don’t fall into the modern habit of baking just occasionally and storing in the deep freeze, the food is out of sight, you wont be tempted and may even LOSE WEIGHT!!!


Consider that no meal is complete unless it has THREE courses. Remember the times you have had a starter and a main course in a restaurant you feel full! – you don’t want any more, then the sweet trolley comes round and you force that gateau down!!! So always have a sweet course at home, your weight increase will be even FASTER.


The most important really – buy extra butter, don’t trim fat off your meat, fry absolutely EVERYTHING. Include oil, lard, butter, margarine, suet – don’t buy low cal spread at all. If you follow these instructions you could even be FOUR dress sizes bigger by the summer!!!


Drinking – alcohol, pop and milk. All drinks are obviously extra to meals, so provide a useful way to work lots of extra calories into your diets! Even if you feel really bloated, you can properly still manage to pour some calorie laden fluid down.

Drink at home, pub measures are so mean – it doesn’t cost so much, so you have more – and a home measure is usually about three times as much as a pub! Pop – just think at least 6 spoons of sugar in the average glass of pop – don’t ever buy the calorie free pops!

Milk – cancel the skimmed, a painless way to consume extra calories without really noticing is to order gold top milk  – all that CREAM.


If you really feel full and don’t think you can eat or drink another thing, its time to watch the television, the commercials really, they will often persuade you to start nibbling.

Now you should be really on your way to being several stones heavier !! Still not enough? Well, try to BORE yourself stiff. It is a well known fact that boredom leads to eating.

Don’t plan to be out too much during the week. Stay at home as much as possible, preferably on your own, try to have frequent periods when you have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do – if you feel BORED, don’t DO anything, just sit there.

Boredom is the greatest inducement to eating extra surplus food. If you keep busy, you might forget to eat!

If after following all this advice you don’t go up at least 3 dress sizes for the Summer  – you must be a natural Thinnie and shouldn’t have been here in the first place!!!